Growing Pains

Hi, everyone!

For those of you who don’t know, since last fall, I have been interning at Wellspring Church NYC while studying the Bible at Indiana Wesleyan University. I felt a call from the Lord to pursue full-time ministry, and I’m doing it!

At the beginning of this year, I was coming out of a somewhat painful season. The beginning of the internship was difficult in so many ways: adjusting to being a student again, working at my church, working side jobs to make money, fundraising to pay rent, etc. I will be completely honest with you, those were hard few months. I felt so incredibly lonely. I questioned every day whether I belonged where I was and whether I had heard the Lord correctly. Frankly, I felt that the last time I had heard Him clearly was when He told me to do this, and since then, it had been frustratingly and painfully quiet. I knew that He hadn’t left; I still felt His presence with me. Life was just genuinely so challenging.

After Christmas break and a much-needed time of rest alone with God, I felt a sense of newness as I stepped into this year. I think one reason I felt that shift is that I decided to be honest with the people around me about what I was going through. Huge shoutout to Olivia Munn-Shirsath, by the way (my mentor, friend, sister for life), who sat with me through some really hard moments. I was able to be honest with her about everything I was struggling with, and I immediately felt things begin to shift. I think God does something so beautiful when we choose to share our burdens with a trusted brother or sister. He begins to unify and build trust when we are honest in community. The enemy would love for us to stay isolated and alone, doing everything on our own, relying on ourselves. When we turn towards the Lord, admitting that we need Him and community, something starts to break in the Spirit. Burdens start to feel a little lighter, relationships feel a little closer, hearts are a bit more open, and the Lord has room to come and hold the things we simply can’t.

I am growing ever increasingly passionate about discipleship through this internship. I think that might be what it’s all about. I feel the Lord desiring for His people to get back to, well, His people. I feel there’s a shift happening; people want real, authentic relationships. They want an honest and open community. What a thrill! These are the moments I live for: a conversation over a meal with brothers and sisters, a time of prayer, ministering to the Lord and to others. It’s just the best. It’s Acts 2! It’s what we’re made for!

During the winter semester, I had the opportunity to serve in our Cares and Youth ministries. It was a true joy learning from the brilliant Dimetra Barrios and Kimetra Bryant. These women are filled with wisdom, life, and love. They have a way of meeting you where you are at with absolutely no judgment. One of the words that the Lord has continued to speak into this year is safety. What does it mean to actually believe that we are safe? When I spend time with Dimetra and Kimetra, I immediately feel safe. The presence of God is so alive in them, and I feel that I can truly let go. When in that place, it is amazing what God can do. My time and conversations with them as they taught and trained me in caring for another person’s soul felt exhilarating, inspiring, and full of life. I received so much, and am now able to give to others what I have learned from them. This ministry (The Cares Network) is truly the Lord’s work; it’s what He loves to do. He loves to care for His children. It is increasingly the joy of my life to care for others, as He and the wonderful mentors in my life have cared for me.

I also loved my time in the youth ministry! I had the opportunity to meet and spend time with a few high school girls who I love so dearly. I was so amazed by their honesty, openness, and true desire to know the Lord. It has been so wonderful to invest in them and walk alongside them as they grow as humans and leaders. I suppose it's worth noting that I also preached for the very first time at our youth group! It was a wild journey, and the Lord did a lot of work in me during it. I know I have much to learn, but I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to try it (thank you, Charlie!) and to have been able to share the good news with a group of teenagers (who happen to be an extremely humbling group of people to speak in front of).

Thank you all for following along on this journey! I want to especially thank all who have supported me along the way. Whether it be financially, prayerfully, or just checking in on me, I am so grateful. I couldn’t do it without you!

My hope is to post these blogs more consistently, so check back soon!